Oh, You're a Youth Minister?

That's a question I have been asked more times than I care to count. And it happened again yesterday.

Generally, people don't mean anything by it. They're not trying to be rude or insensitive or anything. They just have it in their head what a youth minister talks like . . . or looks like . . . or acts like.

And I am definitely not it.

That's okay. It really is. And the more times this happens, the more okay I become with it. But still, it does sting a little bit. And like I said, it's not necessarily the fault of the person who says it. Over the past few decades, people see, more often than not, youth ministers as:
*Trying to look hip with their clothes
*Wearing a goatee (males, mostly . . . I hope)
*A little loud, a little obnoxious
*Very extroverted

If you know me, you know that I am none of the above. But what I have just done above is made a prototype of a youth minister. A person must be (A), (B), (C), or (D) to be a youth minister. And if we don't watch ourselves, these prototypes can easily become a stereotype.

And there's nothing good about stereotypes.

The temptation to do this does not just happen with youth ministers, it happens with all people, in all kinds of different roles. Doing this is part of what it means to be human. People do it to me . . . and I do it to them.

So how do we deal with this? To be honest, I'm not totally sure. I think one thing that helps is getting to know people. It's easy to stereotype a youth minister . . . until you get to know someone doesn't fit that mold. It's easy to think that people of a certain race . . . until you get to know someone who isn't. It's easy to think that people who are homosexual fit into a certain type of mold . . . until you get to know someone who isn't.

A book that sits on my shelf in my office is titled, "This is What a Preacher Looks Like." The aim of the book is to show people that pastors, particularly Baptist pastors in this case, do not look a certain way (they're trying to make the point that pastors do not have to be men) by having people who do not fit the particular mold (women) talk about what it means to them to be a pastor. From the skimming I have done, it seems to be a good read.

But more than anything, I think the title of the book is something for everyone to think about. The next time we think about a mechanic, we should think: "This is What a Mechanic Looks Like." The next time we think about a high school'er, we should think" "This is What a High School'er Looks Like." And on and on the list goes.

Or maybe we shouldn't, maybe we should try to not keep a stereotype in our head (and by the way, I'm pretty sure that's the aim of that book).