The Minister as Piano Man

I'm going to go a completely different direction with my blog post today . . . just because it's on my heart.

While traveling home from work last night, I had Billy Joel's Greatest Hits jamming away on the stereo. One of my favorites, Piano Man, played. While listening to it, it hit me: most laypeople see their minister(s) as Piano Man. In case you have not had the distinct pleasure of your ears being graced by the greatness that is Piano Man, here are the lyrics:

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Making love to his tonic and gin

He says, "Son can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet
And I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes"

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be

He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me"
As a smile ran away from his face
"Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"

Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talking with Davy, who's still in the Navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinking alone

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see
To forget about life for a while

And the piano sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say "Man what are you doing here?"

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright

In many respects, people in churches want nothing more from their ministers than people in a club want from their entertainers.

They want to be sung a song that gets them feeling alright, that gets them by, that gets them through the week.

There's a Bill in every church who would rather be anywhere but where he is. There's a Paul; there's a Davy; there's a waitress; there's a businessman. They come together because it's better than doing life on their own. They come together to forget about life for a while.

We all want a pretty good crowd to show up, so that we can all feel good about being there together, about coming together to forget about life for a while.

If we think about church as a place to come forget about life, to come be told that we are not to blame for all that goes wrong in our lives, to come be treated like a patron at Cheers, to have our wants satisfied . . . then that's really not church, at all.

And somehow, in the midst of this, the Church presses on, keeps going. Thanks be to God.

Oh, You're a Youth Minister?

That's a question I have been asked more times than I care to count. And it happened again yesterday.

Generally, people don't mean anything by it. They're not trying to be rude or insensitive or anything. They just have it in their head what a youth minister talks like . . . or looks like . . . or acts like.

And I am definitely not it.

That's okay. It really is. And the more times this happens, the more okay I become with it. But still, it does sting a little bit. And like I said, it's not necessarily the fault of the person who says it. Over the past few decades, people see, more often than not, youth ministers as:
*Trying to look hip with their clothes
*Wearing a goatee (males, mostly . . . I hope)
*A little loud, a little obnoxious
*Very extroverted

If you know me, you know that I am none of the above. But what I have just done above is made a prototype of a youth minister. A person must be (A), (B), (C), or (D) to be a youth minister. And if we don't watch ourselves, these prototypes can easily become a stereotype.

And there's nothing good about stereotypes.

The temptation to do this does not just happen with youth ministers, it happens with all people, in all kinds of different roles. Doing this is part of what it means to be human. People do it to me . . . and I do it to them.

So how do we deal with this? To be honest, I'm not totally sure. I think one thing that helps is getting to know people. It's easy to stereotype a youth minister . . . until you get to know someone doesn't fit that mold. It's easy to think that people of a certain race . . . until you get to know someone who isn't. It's easy to think that people who are homosexual fit into a certain type of mold . . . until you get to know someone who isn't.

A book that sits on my shelf in my office is titled, "This is What a Preacher Looks Like." The aim of the book is to show people that pastors, particularly Baptist pastors in this case, do not look a certain way (they're trying to make the point that pastors do not have to be men) by having people who do not fit the particular mold (women) talk about what it means to them to be a pastor. From the skimming I have done, it seems to be a good read.

But more than anything, I think the title of the book is something for everyone to think about. The next time we think about a mechanic, we should think: "This is What a Mechanic Looks Like." The next time we think about a high school'er, we should think" "This is What a High School'er Looks Like." And on and on the list goes.

Or maybe we shouldn't, maybe we should try to not keep a stereotype in our head (and by the way, I'm pretty sure that's the aim of that book).

In the Bleak Midwinter

As I sit in my office this morning, I look out the window and see a pretty bleak picture.

Now it's beautiful, sure. Lots of trees, a guy walking a dog, a well-maintained street.
But the sky is gloomy. It's almost as if fog is trying to take over . . . but something will not quite let it.

That's Houston, in January. It's about as gloomy as it gets here. The high will be 80 today. Not exactly a chill in the air. But still, it's winter.

As I look out the window, I am reminded that we all have seasons of winter in our lives, seasons of a pretty bleak picture. Times when fog is trying to take over. What sustains us during those times? What gets us through?

The song, "In the Bleak Midwinter" comes over my mind as I sit here this morning. I honestly don't know much about the song. I know that we used to sing it in a former church, in a place where winter really would hit and there would be, from time to time, a biting chill in the air. And I know I always enjoyed singing it and listening to it.

The song is beautiful, peaceful, calming. If you have never heard it, I found this link of a choir singing it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRobryliBLQ

The song ends by saying that the only gift that we can give to the Christ-child is ourselves. As such, it's a beautiful Advent song. The song is also a wonderful reminder, regardless of the season of the year, that during times when we feel a bit bleak, a little down, a little out . . . when we feel that we do not have anything to offer the world that we are a part of, our gift can be ourselves:

What can I give him, poor as I am? 
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb; 
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part; 
Yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

And so it is, with us, everyday. We may not feel that we have much to offer to others, to the world. We may not have the riches of our neighbor. We may not have the gifts or talents of a friend. But we have ourselves. And we are, each of us, created wonderfully and uniquely to be . . . ourselves.

So today, be you. I promise that will be more than enough for the people around you . . . and for yourself.

The Reality of Losing

After watching the grey sweatshirt coach (Bill Belicheck . . . after all these years, is that the best thing he can roll out to wear) lose and then mope around like a three year-old, one thing is clear to me: we are teaching our young people that it is okay to throw a fit when they lose something.

Having been a youth minister for many years means that I have attended my fair share of youth sporting events. You name it, I have probably been there.

While at these sporting events, I have seen a lot of kids lose. And I have seen a lot of kids absolutely lose it after they lose. They throw fits and are just not able to deal with the reality of losing (And I have to say that, for the most part, those particular situations are normally kids playing against the kids I am there to support-kids from the youth ministries I have been a part of. So at least we've got that going for us.)

I have heard it said that sports is the greatest reality show there is, that it has been reality TV for decades before the concept ever evolved. And I think that's true, to an extent. But if it is reality for winning . . . it's also reality for losing. And somewhere along the way, we are doing a poor job teaching our young people that sports involves both winning . . . and losing.

You see it all over the place. It seems like tennis is the worst. You see tennis players throwing all kinds of fits: from John McEnroe years ago to some of the young up-and-comers today. I saw it a couple of months ago when Nick Saban just could not fathom that his team lost to A&M. Rather than graciously walk across the field and shake hands with the opposing teams' coach, he decided to lay into the referees for what seemed like an eternity. And I saw it again yesterday, when Belicheck stubbornly refused to give the media anything during the post-game media time. Now, to be fair, Belicheck always acts like that. But when he loses, it's ridiculous.

I think it's fine that we tell our kids that we should win and lose graciously. But we cannot expect too much from them if they don't see it on TV . . . or if they don't see it from us.

Standing Out in the Hall

I have started a new job, as of a few weeks ago. When I walk into the building and head up to my office, I walk through the middle of a preschool (funny how life comes full circle, huh?). Long story short is that there is a preschool housed on the first floor of the building I work.

This creates an interesting environment to walk through on the way to my office. It normally puts me in a pretty good mood as I head upstairs to get busy.

One day this week, I walked through the preschool to head over to our main office. I looked down the hall and saw a young child out in the hall with their teacher. Though I do not know the particular circumstances, it was clear that the youngster had done something they were not supposed to; and the teacher was letting them know about it.

Seeing that situation made me laugh. Then it made me cringe, thinking about the fear of getting in trouble by the teacher when I was that age.

That got me to thinking . . . when we see something like that, as adults, one fairly normal reaction is to think, "Whew, glad that's not me" . . . and then move on. And that's pretty normal, I think. We want to be happy with where we are in life. And looking upon a situation like that and thinking that we are glad we are not that age anymore is one way to cope.

But I think if we are all honest, we are still scared of that. We are still scared of getting in trouble and having the teacher get on to us.

I think some of us, consciously, think about it: we don't want to be reprimanded by bosses, people in authority, etc. I think others, probably somewhat unconsciously, think that we do not get in trouble anymore and that we can do whatever we want. But deep down, we know that's not true. We still act out of a system in which we are simply trying to not get in trouble.

Whether we want to admit it or not, there are rules and boundaries that we all have to deal with and live with. Part of our success (or whatever you want to call it) in life has to do with how deal with these rules and boundaries. Do we revert to our four year-old selves and do whatever we want . . . as long as the teacher doesn't see us. Or do we admit that yes, there are rules, and try to live within them.

I would imagine we are all probably somewhere in between.

Us Against Them

While getting ready for the day this morning, Tracy Byrd's "We're From the Country" came across my Pandora shuffle stream. Quite an interesting song to come across my shuffle. But that's Pandora for you.

If you're not familiar with the song, it's about being from the country . . . and why that's better than being from . . . well, not the country. The song tries to make the case that living in the country is better, because in the country everybody knows your name, is friendly, etc.

There's no doubt that there's something to the song. There is a point to be made. And that point, well, is sorta made.

But underneath the song, as well as underneath so much of what we do and say, is an idea that we are better than them, whomever the them might be: city folk, people from another nation, people of another religion, etc.

It's what I've heard called an us against them mentality. I would say it's something that we've struggled with all throughout human history. A good friend of mine, who is a very skilled historian, has said that after 10,000 years (of human history), we're still simply trying to learn to get along with each other.

Just think about it. One thing that is behind so many of our conflicts and fights today . . . is the idea that we are better than them. And if they do not believe it, well then, we'll just show 'em.

I do not mean to rail against Tracy Byrd. I really don't. I like a lot of his music. But it just hit me this morning while in the bathroom getting ready for the day (sorry for the awkward visual). Okay, if you're from the country, that's great. But why does your pride for being that way have to come at the expense of people who aren't?

Why can't we be happy with who we are . . . and let (and maybe even allow) others to be happy with who they are?

What Would Walter Say?

If the Christian faith does anything, it should help us overcome the fear that is so prevalent in the world.

My hope is that for all the youth, and people of all ages for that matter, that I have ministered with during my time in vocational ministry . . . I hope I have been able to help instill a faith built upon hope and not fear. So many ministers and ministries these days are built upon scaring people into heaven . . . or out of hell. If we can just get them to say the sinner's prayer, it will all be okay is their line of thinking, without any regard for how that happens. The ends, in other words, justify the means.

It's easy to think that it's a sign of the times. But a guy named Walter shows us that is not so. Here is what he has to say:

"In the Old Testament we have a number of accounts describing how men of the highest type of God-consciousness made their fundamental experience of God and received their prophetic mission. In none of those cases did the prophet struggle for his personal salvation as later Christian saints have done. His woe did not come through fear of personal damnation, but through his sense of solidarity with his people and through social feeling: his hope and comfort was not for himself alone but for his nation. This form of religious experience is more distinctively Christian than any form which is caused by fear and which thinks only of self. It contains larger possibilities of personal growth and religious power."

Walter Rauschenbusch wrote these words 95 years ago in his book, A Theology for the Social Gospel (p. 20). It's amazing how much his words are similar to what many authors are saying these days, particularly in those in the Emergent Church and in similar circles. The reality, though, is the opposite. Rauschenbusch is not getting his due credit. People today are saying what he said years ago. But no one is noting it.

I have purposely not checked my Facebook News Feed for a while now. Things were starting to get ugly with the election on the horizon. People were beginning to make me angry; and I was beginning to think less of them. I can only imagine how ridiculous the posts were Tuesday night and into Wednesday morning.

The blame is on them. But it's also on people and figures that they follow and listen to, particularly preachers. Preachers have created a fear among people in the pews about elections. They have made people think that the world is going to end if a particular candidate does not wind up in the White House, congress, etc. They have worked off of fear. And it worked. Or at least it worked to create fear in others.

But as Rauschenbusch shows us, the Christian experience is not caused by or grounded in fear. The Christian experience is grounded in hope. Hope not only for self; but hope for us all, together.

The Little Girl Crying on YouTube

We laugh when we see this video because we feel the same way. But why do you think she feels this way?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIhy1zbrb9M

The video is funny. But she feels this way because of the adults in her life. The adults in her life are behaving in a way that causes this girl to cry. And they, the adults, blame the election for their actions.

As Dennis Green would say, they are who we thought they were.

Romney and Obama are who we think they are. They are going to fight and squabble because that is the system we have right now. We are going to see countless commercials between now and Tuesday because that's just the way it is. Same goes for all the state and local races around the country. It is what it is.

We can blame the political system all we want. But we are the ones who allow it to happen.

We pass on to the next generation(s) the way they are going to live their lives. Our negativity and our mistakes can do great harm. But our positivity and our goodness can do much good.

Rather than beating the candidates and the system up . . . I wonder how things would be if we started praising the people out there who are doing it right. What if we complemented and talked well of what we see going right out there? What if we discussed the good parts of our country with our children? What if the young people in our lives heard us talking about the reasons we are thankful to live in our great country . . . rather than the things that stink about our land?

Something tells me we would have less children feeling the way the little girl in the video does.

A Prayer for Those in Sandy's Path

O God,

We lift up to you those who are hurting this morning.
This storm has caused destruction, pain, and for some, even death.
For those who have been affected by this terrible thing,
We pray for help, for healing, for your presence among them.

It is easy for those of us thousands of miles away
To become apathetic about this destruction.
If destruction does not directly affect us,
We can easily become unconcerned about our fellow human's struggles.

But may catastrophes like this remind us all of times that
We have hurt, we have been in pain, we have needed dire help.
And may those reminders cause us to do
Whatever we can to help others.

And in that way, may we be an answer to prayers all around us.

In the name of the One who calls us to pray unceasingly, we pray,
Amen.

Where Are Dwight's Parents?

Seriously, where are they?

The Schrutes are a interesting bunch: beet farmers, shunning their children for years, a seemingly Amish-style of living. That's the description we get from Dwight. Yet the only other Shrute we ever meet is Dwight's cousin, Mose.

Now I must admit that if Dwight's parents surfaced in the last year or two, I wouldn't know. I have tuned out watching new episodes of The Office. Once Michael Scott left, I got bored with it. It's like The Cosby Show without Heathcliff, King of the Hill without Hank, or Seinfeld without Kramer. It just doesn't work for me.

But where are Dwight's parents? He regularly refers to them and their seemingly backwards ways. But we never meet them. Did they pass away? A tragic accident? Did they and all of their other family members suddenly uproot and leave their family farm?

I think we need some answers.

Failed Attempts at Using the Apostrophe . . . Part I

Apostrophe usage is not good.

All you have to do is pretty much look up to see apostrophes being used incorrectly. It's too bad. But there's got to be some sort of apostrophe police out there, helping or at least notifying people that apostrophes are not being used correctly.

That's where I come in.

I really do see it as sort of a tragedy. We're all taught, from a very young age, how to use apostrophes. Then we grow up, do things, and butcher them. They're butchered on billboards, signs, everywhere. It's a sub-set, really, of bad grammar. Grammar across our fair land is not good. We're all taught how to do grammar. Then somewhere along the way we disregard it . . . or just flat out don't care.

Either way, it's not good.

This, for instance, is not good:

This one is pretty bad. I mean these apostrophes are really, really, really mis-used, to the point that I'm not even sure what the point of the apostrophes are. I think, or at least I hope, "Policies" became "Police's." Whoa.

Come on, America, we can do better than this.

Where's the Line?

Being a follower, a participant to a certain religion is a difficult thing.

There are people on all sides, on both extremes of religions saying all sort of things . . . many of which are trying to proclaim that they are saying the definitive view of their particular religion.

For example, there are lots of different Christians who say lots of different things, based upon their religion and religious beliefs. Last night's vice-presidential debate was a great case-in-point. Both candidates talked about abortion based upon their religious beliefs. They came to different conclusions.

One of my personal struggles is maintaining, for myself, Christian unity with people who are on different ends of the spectrum on a wide array of issues: social, political, theological, and otherwise. There are completely different things being said, as reported by the media, by followers of Christ, on both extremes, on all sides. It's just plain hard to affirm the similar faith we share and, at the same time, allow people the latitude to say things with which we completely disagree. It's a struggle I have. And I think we all probably, to a degree, have.

So . . . where's the line? At what point is our disagreements too much?

There is one area that I feel pretty safe saying, "No. That's wrong." That has to do with people being oppressed. When someone with whom I share a faith in Christ says something or does something that causes someone else or a group of people to be oppressed, that's the line.

Such as:

http://www.suntimes.com/news/elections/15611617-505/arkansas-rep-calls-slavery-blessing-in-disguise.html

Now what those representatives are saying is wrong. I share, I think, a faith in Christ with them. But I cannot give them the latitude to say things like that. That's wrong. It's not right. That is not what followers of Christ should be saying. That goes against Christ.

I have heard it said that God sides with those who are being oppressed, at all times, in all places. How insightful. I can (and should) allow fellow Christians the freedom to have differing, even opposing, views with me on a whole list of issues. But when people who call themselves followers of Christ say and do things that oppress other people . . .

No. That's not right. That crosses the line.

"Sometimes I'm Silent"

While working with some students at an after-school program yesterday, one young man looked at me and said, "Sometimes, I'm silent."

I thought it was an interesting line and probably one that he wouldn't share with just anyone. I have to remember, though, that a few moments later, he also said, "I live close to the mountains." The closest mountains to Huntsville are . . . well, I have no idea, because there are no mountains close by. I have no idea what he was talking about. And, it caused me to immediately question my having suddenly given him Boy Genius status.

But I engaged him further with the "Sometimes, I'm silent" line because it stood in rather stark contrast to the screaming and yelling most of the other kids around us were doing at that time.

He went on to say that sometimes he just feels like being silent. I encouraged him that such feelings are okay. I, too, am sometimes silent, often when others around me are being talkative, particularly in larger groups. Society has had a way of making me feel wrong, or at the least awkward, particularly as a youngster, for not always wanting to be extremely extroverted and talkative in larger groups. I sometimes thrive in smaller settings. And I wanted him to know that it's okay if he feels that way at times, too.

I have a feeling that's what he was trying to say. And I have a feeling that my words of encouragement were just that: positive words that re-assured him that who he is okay and good.

I am thankful for whatever factors are present in this young man's life that cause him to feel okay and good for being who he is, not who others want him to be. I hope that is what the after-school program that he is a part of does for him. That is what I have always hoped the youth ministries that I have been in charge of over the years are for the youth that have been a part of them. In the face of so many things telling young people who and what they need to be, they need to be told and have instilled in them the reality that who they are is who they were created to be. And that is good.

We are all unique. And if that were not the case, the world would be very boring. So if sometimes, we are talkative and maybe even loud, that's cool. And if we are sometimes silent, that's all right, too.

King of the Hill = Seinfeld

Whilst watching King of the Hill recently, I realized something: the "gang" on King of the Hill very closely and eerily resembles the gang on Seinfeld. Think about it.

Hank = Jerry

Bill = George

Boomhauer = Kramer

Dale = Elaine

I could spend time outlining the similarities between the characters. But all you have to do is use your imagination.

I wonder what other similarities between TV shows are out there . . .

A New Tipping System

I have an idea for a new tipping system at restaurants: none.

No, I am not saying that we should give the people serving us nothing, in addition to the $2.13/hour they are making. I am advocating that restaurant owners should begin adding in to the price of their food how much they would like the servers to make, then charge that addition to us, and do away with the tipping system.

Example: Let's say a meal costs $10. Let's say the restaurant owner wishes that you would tip his/her worker about $2. That meal would now cost $12. You simply pay for it, get up, and leave. No wondering how much you should tip. It is what it is. The server knows how much from that meal they will be receiving as a wage.

Seems pretty simple to me.

Then again, maybe there's a reason that I am not a restaurant owner.

Watch More Laverne & Shirley

It seems to me that our geographical knowledge is diminishing with each successive generation.

I was fortunate to have a good geography teacher. And I have a rather unique interest in maps and knowing where places are. I realize that I am the exception to the rule, not the norm.

While checking out at Target the other day, I overheard a conversation between a worker and the person checking me out:

"He went to Milwaukee."

"Where is that?"

"I don't know."

One of them finally had the epiphany that it might be in Wisconsin. They asked me if that were true; and I nodded in agreement.

I was glad they finally discovered the state Milwaukee is found in. But I was more sad than glad that neither of them could recall it immediately.

These two workers were both college-aged. And I am certain they have both been in geography courses and have been around the world long enough to have heard about Milwaukee on a number of occasions. I knew where Milwaukee was by the age of probably four of five, thanks to Laverne & Shirley. All you have to do is watch the opening credits; and you're given this golden nugget of information. I'm guessing reruns of the show were not as prevalent in their childhood as in mine. But still, "Where is Milwaukee?" . . . Really?

It just seems sad to me. Not morally sad or anything like that. It's not a huge travesty that young people cannot locate towns, in America, much less the world. I just find it sad, or maybe the better word is unfortunate, that young Americans have such an unawareness. It's not just this example. I have seen this pattern time and again over the last ten to fifteen years. High school geography classes seem to be letting kids slip through without hardly any retention at all.

Like I said, I realize that I probably know where towns are located much more so than most people. I enjoy looking at maps, enjoying knowing where places are, am interesting in finding stuff like this out. I know this is not exactly normal. Maps scare most people. I love maps.

But still . . . Really?

Christian Fiction

While walking through Hastings yesterday, I noticed a peculiar section of books: Christian Fiction.

Now sure, I have seen this section in bookstores in years. But it just struck me differently yesterday.

Two things, I guess:

If we're talking about Christianity, how can that in anyway be associated as being fictional? "Oh, come on, Brian, that's not what it's talking about." I know. But think through this with me.

When I think of Christianity, the Christian faith, I think about a reality that is the most truthful thing I know, more truthful than anything else, what truth, at its core, really is. To associate that with fiction . . . well that doesn't seem to do it any justice at all.

Second, I am growing tired (and leery) of the desire to label things (everything) as "Christian." There's Christian fiction, Christian music, Christian t-shirts, Christian television shows, Christian gum that you can buy at the counter at the Christian bookstore. And many times, I find that these "Christian" things do not always line up with what I believe, the faith I try to live out, what I desire . . . even though I identify myself with the Christian faith.

Seems to me that rather than labeling lots of stuff as "Christian" that Christians would do better to be about the business of doing things well and living out their faith through what they do. In other words, their Christian witness should shine through who they are rather than having to label everything as "Christian."

For instance, let's say I'm going to write a book . . . for grins, let's say it's fiction. I could write it and then set about making sure it's in the Christian Fiction section (where most probably only a subset of people who call themselves "Christian" are going to ever come across it). Or, I could write it in a way that gives honor and witness to the faith I have, simply publish it as fiction, and then market it to a very wide audience.

Now I hope I am not offending any Christian Fiction writers . . . or anyone for that matter. I really do. Because I know that Christian Fiction writers, and Christian musicians, and Christian book writers, and Christian t-shirt makers mean well. It's just that I do not get the sense from reading about what Jesus said and did, as recorded in the gospels, and the whole Bible for that matter, that people of the Christian faith are to be out trying to make a Christian sub-culture. I think what we should be shooting for is that Christians should be out being a witness to the whole world, to all of culture, trying to make the whole world a better place.

At least that seems, to me, how Jesus tried to do things.

So maybe instead of being known as Christian Fiction writers, or Christian musicians, Christian book writers, or Christian t-shirt makers, maybe we should strive to be known as fiction writers who are Christians, or musicians who are Christians, or book writers who are Christians, or t-shirt makers who are Christians. Fiction writers, musicians, book writers, t-shirt makers, and all followers of Christ for that matter, who strive to be the best at their work . . . and strive to be a witness in all that they do.

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It People Like Me . . . But

Trips to the dentist have not been the most pleasant things in my life. Sure, no one likes to go to the dentist. But dentists have not been very kind to the my mouth. I have not always been kind to my mouth, either. But even during periods of good dental hygiene, dentists still have negative things to say about my teeth. I am by no means one of those people who can just brush their teeth whenever they think about it and have no cavities. Must be genetic or something.

So when I got up to leave the dentist yesterday and did not hear one negative word or one warning about what I need to do, I was absolutely shocked. That was the first time I have ever been to the dentist and heard, "It all looks good." I kept waiting on what they would say next. They probably looked at me, thinking, when is this fool going to get up and leave??

It hit me on my drive away from the dentist that this mindset, of always expecting negative words after positive ones, is a condition we live by. We give it and we receive it.

"You did a great job on this work project . . . I just wish you would have . . . "
"You get an A on this research paper . . . it would have been an A-plus if you had . . . "
"I'm so glad you came to see me . . . I wish you would come more often."

How much do we do this with others? With our friends? With our enemies? With our children?

With ourselves? How much do we expect others to do this to us?

It would do us all well to remember the words of the Saturday Night Live self-help guru, Stuart Smalley. On each episode of sorts, he would look in the mirror and say, "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me." There was no ". . . but I could do better at" or ". . . people would like me more if . . ."

Because even Michael Jordan needed to look in the mirror and give it an I'm good enough . . .

Miscommunication

A lack of communication seems to be behind many of the world's problems.

Take all the mess between many of the Middle East countries and the U.S. over the past week-plus. When an American, via free speech, puts out something on You Tube, people in other countries can easily suffer from miscommunication, as they think that such a video must surely speak for the whole country, as it would in their own. And when a handful of people riot against the U.S., Americans can easily suffer from miscommunication, as they think such actions must surely speak for the whole country, as well as that country's government.

In our day and age of overly-biased, opinionated, entertainment-based news stories, we take a small piece to represent an entire whole. Fareed Zakaria says it well:

http://globalpublicsquare.blogs.cnn.com/2012/09/14/fareeds-take-vivid-protest-images-do-not-tell-whole-story/?hpt=hp_t1

Miscommunication seems to stem so many problems. When there is a problem or a rift between sports figures or athletes and coaches, it almost always has to do with one side not understanding or hearing the the others side correctly. I haven't even begun to dig into the Tom Coughlin/Greg Schiano mess; but I feel sure there is a lack of communication somewhere in the mix.

Stopping to take a second to see what the other person/side is saying is what we need to do in so many situations. If we can get beyond that and try to put ourselves in the other person's/side's shoes, to gain some perspective, we can help ourselves and others from being involved in so many fights, squabbles, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

Those words of Rodney King ring true, year after year after year.

The whole Rodney King case was an interesting one, to say the least . . . but his words are true.

The latest flare-up in the Middle East, regarding the video made by some fringe religious extremist Americans, caused me to think about these words.

I have heard a history expert say that after thousands and thousands and thousands of years, humans are doing the same thing they have been doing since they beginning: simply trying to get along with each other. After all these years and all the advances we have made in so many different areas of life, in a way, we're no better off than we were in the beginning: we still don't know how to live with each other.

We need to learn to respect each other . . . and respect ourselves.