Religion is not the same as the American Dream. The sooner we admit that, the better off we will all be.
Religion is about making broken pieces whole. The American Dream is about doing life bigger, better, faster, stronger ... whatever "it" may be.
The American Dream works very well with some things. That notion has created much of what we, as Americans, see before us today (perhaps we should save whether what we see is good or bad for another day). Unfortunately, the American Dream has also worked hand-in-hand with Christianity, in many cases, to produce what is often misunderstood as religion, things like:
*Churches whose sole purpose is to pack as many people as possible into its building, inevitably giving into the temptation to attract so-called non-believers in any way possible.
*Summer camping organizations that try to do outdo last year's and other camping organizations' salvation and re-dedication numbers. (Have you ever been a part of a fifteen minute-plus altar call?)
*Evangelism tracts filled with hate and fear, distributed by people yelling on street corners.
As with so many other things, if people and groups want to do this, okay, they are absolutely free to do so. But that does not make good or right.
And it sure does not make it religion.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Sunday, October 5, 2014
The Power of Blessing
Religion has tremendous power. Religion has the power to curse, to shame, to embarrass, to look down upon. Religion also has the power to look up to, to comfort, to provide meaning, to bless.
In his book, Blessing: Giving the Gift of Power, Myron Madden states that blessing, or genuine acceptance, is the best gift we can give to others and receive from others. There is great power in blessing, particularly for children.
The lesson, though, applies to adults, as well, as he, himself, notes: "No adult can Christianly hold absolute power or authority over another adult. In like manner, no adult can Christianly subject oneself absolutely to the authority or power of another human being."
Easier said than done, right? ... particularly in religious settings.
The Library of Horrors is already chock-full of books written about and by people for whom religion has served as a tool of embarrassment, of shame, of curse. That's too bad. In fact, it's more than that. This reality is sad ... because it flies completely in the face of what religion is.
Religion seeks to make broken pieces whole. So anytime a person is turned away from serving in a church leadership position because of their gender or sexuality, religion ceases to exist there. Anytime a person's past mistakes are brought up in public in an effort to look down upon them, religion ceases to exist there. Anytime someone is made to feel less than the wonderfully-created, image of God-bearer that they are, religion ceases to exist there.
Religion has the power to do so much good. There is great power in blessing. Let's use religion to be a blessing and not a curse.
In his book, Blessing: Giving the Gift of Power, Myron Madden states that blessing, or genuine acceptance, is the best gift we can give to others and receive from others. There is great power in blessing, particularly for children.
The lesson, though, applies to adults, as well, as he, himself, notes: "No adult can Christianly hold absolute power or authority over another adult. In like manner, no adult can Christianly subject oneself absolutely to the authority or power of another human being."
Easier said than done, right? ... particularly in religious settings.
The Library of Horrors is already chock-full of books written about and by people for whom religion has served as a tool of embarrassment, of shame, of curse. That's too bad. In fact, it's more than that. This reality is sad ... because it flies completely in the face of what religion is.
Religion seeks to make broken pieces whole. So anytime a person is turned away from serving in a church leadership position because of their gender or sexuality, religion ceases to exist there. Anytime a person's past mistakes are brought up in public in an effort to look down upon them, religion ceases to exist there. Anytime someone is made to feel less than the wonderfully-created, image of God-bearer that they are, religion ceases to exist there.
Religion has the power to do so much good. There is great power in blessing. Let's use religion to be a blessing and not a curse.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Fundamentalism & Domestic Violence
There is a huge problem going on. With each passing day, another story surfaces of a sports player beating up a woman.
Preachers can preach against it. People can say it needs to end. But until fundamentalism looks itself in the mirror, it is not helping the cause.
There are, unfortunately, many churches and religious groups that believe women are not as good as men. Any group that does not allow women to do anything they allow men to do is not helping the cause against domestic violence.
Churches that say it’s best if women are not deacons ... churches that bar women from being their pastor ... denominations that force leaders to sign statements that say women are in a different classification as men ... these things tell their followers that men are the ultimate kind of humans and everyone else is just following and playing along.
Sure, these so-called religious bodies cite scripture in their fight against women. The problem is the Bible does not state that men are better than women. Parts of the Bible describe how certain groupings of people decided to do things, once upon a time. But the Bible does not prescribe that just because a group two thousand years ago decided to have only men in leadership, then the only way to do church today is by telling women they’re not good enough. In other words, the Bible does not give groups like the Southern Baptist Convention leeway to tell its churches that only men can be pastors of their churches.
If churches want to make the choice to limit women, okay. But quit saying that it’s God’s way.
Because when you say it’s God’s way, that tells little boys and little girls that there is a hierarchy, with men at the top and women at the bottom. They’re born either good enough or not good enough; and that’s all there is to it. Then those little boys and little girls grow up and learn to deal with the world on those terms.
This is not to say that fundamentalism directly leads to domestic violence ... It is to say that fundamentalism helps create an environment in which bringing an end to domestic violence is really, really, really difficult.
Preachers can preach against it. People can say it needs to end. But until fundamentalism looks itself in the mirror, it is not helping the cause.
There are, unfortunately, many churches and religious groups that believe women are not as good as men. Any group that does not allow women to do anything they allow men to do is not helping the cause against domestic violence.
Churches that say it’s best if women are not deacons ... churches that bar women from being their pastor ... denominations that force leaders to sign statements that say women are in a different classification as men ... these things tell their followers that men are the ultimate kind of humans and everyone else is just following and playing along.
Sure, these so-called religious bodies cite scripture in their fight against women. The problem is the Bible does not state that men are better than women. Parts of the Bible describe how certain groupings of people decided to do things, once upon a time. But the Bible does not prescribe that just because a group two thousand years ago decided to have only men in leadership, then the only way to do church today is by telling women they’re not good enough. In other words, the Bible does not give groups like the Southern Baptist Convention leeway to tell its churches that only men can be pastors of their churches.
If churches want to make the choice to limit women, okay. But quit saying that it’s God’s way.
Because when you say it’s God’s way, that tells little boys and little girls that there is a hierarchy, with men at the top and women at the bottom. They’re born either good enough or not good enough; and that’s all there is to it. Then those little boys and little girls grow up and learn to deal with the world on those terms.
This is not to say that fundamentalism directly leads to domestic violence ... It is to say that fundamentalism helps create an environment in which bringing an end to domestic violence is really, really, really difficult.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
The _____ Issue
As far as religion is concerned, there is no <insert topic here> issue.
So, there is no gay issue, no abortion issue, no evolution issue, no race issue, no <anything> issue.
Religion is about making broken pieces whole. To speak of an issue is to imply at least two different sides to that issue, which implies a right side and a wrong side. Religion does not force you to pick sides.
During an interview for a job at a church years ago, I was asked me to state my side to six different issues. I cannot remember the exact list; but I know it included abortion, homosexuality, science, etc. Half way through the list I could tell by the looks on their faces that my sides were not matching up with their sides (so I got up and walked out).
It's too bad that they did that in an interview. But it's even worse that some churches do that to begin with.
Religion does not tell you who is right and who is wrong, who is out and who is in, whom God loves and whom God does not. When we find something that does these things, that's not religion.
So, there is no gay issue, no abortion issue, no evolution issue, no race issue, no <anything> issue.
Religion is about making broken pieces whole. To speak of an issue is to imply at least two different sides to that issue, which implies a right side and a wrong side. Religion does not force you to pick sides.
During an interview for a job at a church years ago, I was asked me to state my side to six different issues. I cannot remember the exact list; but I know it included abortion, homosexuality, science, etc. Half way through the list I could tell by the looks on their faces that my sides were not matching up with their sides (so I got up and walked out).
It's too bad that they did that in an interview. But it's even worse that some churches do that to begin with.
Religion does not tell you who is right and who is wrong, who is out and who is in, whom God loves and whom God does not. When we find something that does these things, that's not religion.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
One Thing I Wish Church Members Could Understand
I have a book on a shelf that some good friends gave me, entitled, Ten Things Your Minister Wants to Tell You. The idea is that ministers cannot always say what is on their minds because receiving paychecks is a good thing. In other words, if ministers really spoke their minds, there would be few of them left employed.
The things mentioned in this book, that ministers wish they could say, are things like how the Bible was actually constructed, all people (no exceptions) are good and loved by God, etc.
The book is a really good read. Seeing it on my shelf got me to thinking: One thing I wish members of churches could understand is that the ministers of their churches are people, simply people.
Your ministers, former ministers, and future ministers:
*Are not perfect. (That’s a good thing by the way. That helps you relate to them better.)
*Are, generally speaking, not trained to be counselors. They can help you, sure. But they are not trained to provide psychological/mental health counselors. Other people are trained to provide that.
*Again, generally speaking, they aren’t big fans of the comparison of their daily schedule to “bankers’ hours.” If you looked at the schedule of their average day, you’d be amazed. And while we’re at it, let’s give bankers a rest. How many bankers really only work 9:00 - 3:00? Perhaps we should just trash the term “bankers’ hours.”
*Have lots of stuff going on. At their best, they are able to give you their full attention and provide you with what you need. But who among us is always at their best? Between committee meetings, weekly sermons/Bible studies, life away from church, their families, time in the office, and the tons upon tons of stuff they are dealing with at the church and in the lives of church members that hardly anyone ever knows about, it’s amazing that ministers have any time at all. So if they do not seem to be at their best (or what we think should be their best), there’s probably a whole list of reasons why.
*Have a relationship with you that is designed to be different than most of the other relationships in your life. Sure, your minister, in many ways, can be a friend, someone to console you, someone to listen to you, someone to encourage you, someone to challenge you. But at the end of the day, your minister is the minister of all church members ... not just you. That means that your minister must treat you the same way, without favortism, as they treat all other church members.
*Are with you for a certain time period. Hopefully, this time period is a wonderful one. But when that time period is over, that time period is over. You will likely maintain some sort of contact, directly or indirectly, with that minister in the future. But for your good, for that minister’s good, and, especially, for the next minister’s good, that time period is over.
*Last, and perhaps most importantly, are who they are. Way too many conflicts arise because church members expect what their ministers cannot give them. Ministers are people: some of them are outgoing, some are quiet and reserved, some of them excel at pastoral care, some struggle to do that part of their job, some of them are great administrators, some do better to fly by the seat of their pants. Placing our expectations upon other people is rarely, if ever, a good idea. Let’s learn who other people are and then learn to deal with them on those terms.
The things mentioned in this book, that ministers wish they could say, are things like how the Bible was actually constructed, all people (no exceptions) are good and loved by God, etc.
The book is a really good read. Seeing it on my shelf got me to thinking: One thing I wish members of churches could understand is that the ministers of their churches are people, simply people.
Your ministers, former ministers, and future ministers:
*Are not perfect. (That’s a good thing by the way. That helps you relate to them better.)
*Are, generally speaking, not trained to be counselors. They can help you, sure. But they are not trained to provide psychological/mental health counselors. Other people are trained to provide that.
*Again, generally speaking, they aren’t big fans of the comparison of their daily schedule to “bankers’ hours.” If you looked at the schedule of their average day, you’d be amazed. And while we’re at it, let’s give bankers a rest. How many bankers really only work 9:00 - 3:00? Perhaps we should just trash the term “bankers’ hours.”
*Have lots of stuff going on. At their best, they are able to give you their full attention and provide you with what you need. But who among us is always at their best? Between committee meetings, weekly sermons/Bible studies, life away from church, their families, time in the office, and the tons upon tons of stuff they are dealing with at the church and in the lives of church members that hardly anyone ever knows about, it’s amazing that ministers have any time at all. So if they do not seem to be at their best (or what we think should be their best), there’s probably a whole list of reasons why.
*Have a relationship with you that is designed to be different than most of the other relationships in your life. Sure, your minister, in many ways, can be a friend, someone to console you, someone to listen to you, someone to encourage you, someone to challenge you. But at the end of the day, your minister is the minister of all church members ... not just you. That means that your minister must treat you the same way, without favortism, as they treat all other church members.
*Are with you for a certain time period. Hopefully, this time period is a wonderful one. But when that time period is over, that time period is over. You will likely maintain some sort of contact, directly or indirectly, with that minister in the future. But for your good, for that minister’s good, and, especially, for the next minister’s good, that time period is over.
*Last, and perhaps most importantly, are who they are. Way too many conflicts arise because church members expect what their ministers cannot give them. Ministers are people: some of them are outgoing, some are quiet and reserved, some of them excel at pastoral care, some struggle to do that part of their job, some of them are great administrators, some do better to fly by the seat of their pants. Placing our expectations upon other people is rarely, if ever, a good idea. Let’s learn who other people are and then learn to deal with them on those terms.
What Religion Is ... And Is Not
To describe what something is is much better than describing what it is not. However, there are exceptions to the rule.
Religion is an exception to the rule.
Religion is about making broken pieces whole.
The roots of the word come from the idea of making something that is broken, something that does not fit together correctly to be made whole, to fit together correctly.
To be able to say what religion is, how it is supposed to function, what it is supposed to look like would be much more preferable. Heck, it’d be a whole lot more fun.
However, I do not know one single person for whom religion has not at some point in their lives functioned as a tool to divide, to exclude, to bring about fear, to point a finger of blame.
So, we need to say what religion is not. Maybe one day, down the road, we can be constructive, put the broken pieces back together, and say what religion is ... but not today.
Here’s what I think:
Religion is not supposed to make us fear.
That’s what fundamentalism does.
Religion is not about shame and embarrassment.
If something claiming to be religion shames and embarrasses its followers, that’s not religion.
Religion is not one-sized-fits-all. We are all different. It seems that God likes that (see the Tower of Babel story).
Fundamentalism is one-sized-fits-all. Fundamentalism does a great job of telling you exactly how to live and how to think.
Religion is not corny and cheesy.
If a particular brand of religion does not work for you, that’s okay. Bless it and realize it works for others.
Religion is not about excluding other people.
That’s what fundamentalism and kickball are for. Picking sides does no one any good.
Let’s use our words thoughtfully. Religion means making broken pieces whole. If a so-called religious system, religious denomination, religious church, etc. does something that is not making broken pieces whole, okay, they have the freedom to do that. But that’s not religion.
Religion is an exception to the rule.
Religion is about making broken pieces whole.
The roots of the word come from the idea of making something that is broken, something that does not fit together correctly to be made whole, to fit together correctly.
To be able to say what religion is, how it is supposed to function, what it is supposed to look like would be much more preferable. Heck, it’d be a whole lot more fun.
However, I do not know one single person for whom religion has not at some point in their lives functioned as a tool to divide, to exclude, to bring about fear, to point a finger of blame.
So, we need to say what religion is not. Maybe one day, down the road, we can be constructive, put the broken pieces back together, and say what religion is ... but not today.
Here’s what I think:
Religion is not supposed to make us fear.
That’s what fundamentalism does.
Religion is not about shame and embarrassment.
If something claiming to be religion shames and embarrasses its followers, that’s not religion.
Religion is not one-sized-fits-all. We are all different. It seems that God likes that (see the Tower of Babel story).
Fundamentalism is one-sized-fits-all. Fundamentalism does a great job of telling you exactly how to live and how to think.
Religion is not corny and cheesy.
If a particular brand of religion does not work for you, that’s okay. Bless it and realize it works for others.
Religion is not about excluding other people.
That’s what fundamentalism and kickball are for. Picking sides does no one any good.
Let’s use our words thoughtfully. Religion means making broken pieces whole. If a so-called religious system, religious denomination, religious church, etc. does something that is not making broken pieces whole, okay, they have the freedom to do that. But that’s not religion.
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